A side effect of getting older?

The older I get or rather more recently, my thoughts, actions, habits, ambitions and dreams have tended to move more to the betterment of humanity and the sustainability of the earth than self enrichment and self glorification.

I tend to rather think of giving back, making the world a better place and how can I make a difference to the world instead of thinking, how can I get rich and how can I make profits.

I never use to think like, my greatest goals and ambitions all involved and how I can get what I want. I looked up to ruthless business men who could bull doze whatever obstacles in their paths to achieve whatever goals they may pursue which in most cases is money.

I listened to podcasts where the cut throat tactics of men in power was discussed and how most powerful CEO’s tended to be psychopaths. I strived to be more assertive, more dominant and more aggressive, yet all the while  knew that this was not me.

I show immense empathy towards other humans, their hardship and plights, their stories, their sacrifices, their victories and their displays of kindness and empathy. I always knew in the back of my mind that I cannot be one of these so hard men.

I had an employee a few years back who was both a great guy but also had a tendency to show up to work without his head on his shoulders, which brought out an angry side of me, a side which I did not know I had. It was a sobering experience, now in my life I am sure that I would handle situations differently than a few years ago, actually I would handle certain situations different than I did a few days ago.

In the time that I had the employee, I still had the urge to build an empire, no matter what stood in my way. My uncle once described a man with whom I did business, who’s disrepute far exceeded his repute, “Be careful of his, he leaves bodies behind.” Off course not literally but yeah he would have tread upon and devoured anyone and anything to get an extra buck, crazy for me to even type this out.  I do not believe that I stooped to these kind of lows but I would tickle ethics if it meant growth and progress.

This all changed, I am not sure exactly when or exactly why but I do believe that travelling through South East Asia, may have spurred the development of the disregard to consumerism and capitalism.

I was welcomed by fishermen families in Vietnam, feasting upon fresh seafood along with several friends and their family members, whereas the hosts had nothing more than the food for the day, yet the calm, the serenity and the happiness was evident in their manner, never mind the fact that a seventy year old man could easily be mistaken for as being fifty years old.

I do not believe that I was raised to try and improve the world or to try and make life better for my fellow man. I remember everything from my education to my parental upbringing to be more self focused and aimed at self upliftming.

My education was at two all boys schools which focused a lot on individual academic achievements and although there was team sports, a lot of the attention was also focused on your performance as an individual. I wonder if this in fact breeds the kind of self centred  life that so many of my fellow countrymen back home live by no fault of their own.

As of now, I also live a self centred, self focused life but what has changed is my dreams and my ambitions, whereas my goals a few years ago may have been, “drive a Porsche”, “live in a ten bedroom mansion”, blah, blah, blah, it has now focused more to giving back and making the world a better place.

For now all I can do is respect my fellow humans, their beliefs, their opinions, not judge and live an open and honest life.

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